Raising Rubies

A few weeks ago, as I browsed through one of the few parenting forums that appear in my inbox (one of the few that I actually read), I came across one mother's lament on how much more difficult she found it to raise girls compared to raising boys. She asked for advice whilst wondering if anyone felt this same way. The answers she received where varied but it started to grow a thought in my mind that has been germinating for some time. 

I have heard this concern several times, that girls are more challenging than boys and as a mother of two girls and one boy I have always mused slightly over this theory but never given much time to form my own opinion. My son, who is my eldest, is full of boy energy and spirit and keeps my husband and I constantly spinning on our toes. I tend to forget that there exists this idea, 'out there', that boys are easier. When my days are spent running after the adventures and antics initiated by my son it is difficult to imagine that boys are easier! Lately however, I have given time to this thought and have realised that I find this philosophy rather heartbreaking, because girls are, without question, precious gems, radiating magic and light.

I am not an expert on raising girls, my girls are in fact just past toddler-hood, but I am a girl, I have two sisters and although I do not have the experience to give advice on girl raising specifics I have discovered I possess a foundation that I fall back on as a woman and without even considering it I find that I am continually striving to build such a foundation in the hearts of my girls even as they are babies.

One of our greatest strengths as women is our ability to connect; through intuition, emotion and nurturing. We connect this way with our families, our children, our friends and our communities. We are able to bring healing and insight to our relationships. We nurture our spouses, our children and our homes. We bring heart, spirit and strength to life in a way that is unique only to women. But as this side of our character is one of our greatest strengths; sadly, it seems that it can also be one of our greatest weaknesses. 

How easy it is to allow this deeper, richer side of our hearts to sour and weaken. How easy it is to just feel sad and force everyone around us make room for this feeling. How easy it is to use our ability to 'connect' as a tool to create and manipulate situations and relationships so they suit us and our moods. How easy it is to express weaknesses to our mothers and our husbands whilst completely expecting them to not say anything and just comfort us.

This is such a sad version of what is the most beautiful side of femininity and womanhood. It is such a waste of our greatest strengths and virtues.

So, as raise my girls I try to teach them to choose joy. Of course, we take time to feel genuine sadness, watch it, grow through it, release it and then, when we feel it lessen, we choose joy.

As cute as it is, and I admit that I too see this cuteness, when a three year old puts out her beautiful lip, softens her enchanting eyes and whimpers for attention; I shake my head. "no my darling, it is not kind to behave this way." 

I try to demonstrate kindness, gentleness and strength as I mother my children, nurture my husband and bless my home. 

When I am tired and weary and feel sad, I dig deeper, looking...looking...looking for the strengths of the women who have gone before me. My great, great grandmother, who lost her husband when she was just 28 finding herself raising three small children alone, and then losing her adult daughter in childbirth finding herself again raising grandchildren and then great grandchildren alone. I look in myself for the strengths of all the mothers of my mothers, who birthed and loved and lost and laughed and healed.

I am trying to raise rubies; nurturing the gems that are my daughters. Trying to teach them always that it is beautiful to be a woman and that our strengths and magic and spirit connect this world in a spectacular way. I do not know if it is indeed more difficult to raise girls but the weight of its significance is tremendous. 

Let us, as women, not be soured, let us choose joy, let us be strong, let us love.

Wonderful Reading, Sunday Surf

Some of my favourite reads this week, enjoy!


Homemade Herbal Shampoo ~ a wonderful shampoo from the Natural Health and Prevention Blog! Something to try straight away!

Seven Lies about Homeschoolers  ~ a fantastic video! Addressing the misconceptions people have regarding homeschoolers. As a former home educated student I found this completely refreshing and very funny!


Mom, I'm Fat ~ one mother's inspiring response to her 7 year old daughter. It is so easy for our young girls to pick up unhealthy messages about body image. This is a great post - something to make us think. 


Vaccination: Parents' Informed Choice ~ "Because the misinformation surrounding vaccination is so extensive, many parents don’t even question whether or not they should vaccinate their child, overlooking one of the most important decisions a parent can make..." This is an article every parent should read.


Circle of Mothers ~ a beautiful post about how the mothers of one community pulled together to help a mama who was unable to breastfeed her newborn. A beautiful celebration of the magic that is motherhood.


To the Mother with Only One Child ~ this is wonderful and validating and so very, very true and have only three children not nine!

A Butter Update (and the best soft cheese I've ever had...)

Before you read this - warning... 

Similar to the rule "do not grocery shop when you are hungry" so should you NOT blog about food when you are hungry. The following is a bit of a waffle, albeit a delicious one!

Last summer I posted all about my new butter making endeavour and I thought that that post was in need of an update because I have discovered a few new 'tricks' that are fantastic! If you are interested in butter making maybe you will find this useful and perhaps you can add to this list as well with some of your own tips and tricks! (read to the end for the best soft cheese I've ever had!).

Butter Making Tricks!

~ I no longer use my blender to churn the butter, now I use my kitchen mixer. This is much better, the blender was so tedious to clean. 

~Cream absolutely must be a few (to several) days old or it won't separate, or at least it takes ages to do so otherwise. Rule of thumb - let the cream age before butter making. This is assuming of course that you are using raw dairy fresh cream. Cream from the shops is anywhere up to 50 days old, kept 'fresh' with preservatives, when you buy it so (although, I can't stomach this) it might churn straight away!

~Do not freeze your cream in order to make butter later. Make the butter then freeze it.

~Knead your butter under a 'cold' running tap. This is the ultimate secret to avoid spoiling. The running water washes away the excess butter milk whilst keeping it cold enough that it doesn't melt in your hands. Wooden butter paddles do not work as well.

~Salt the butter if you want to maintain the taste. I don't do this if I am going to use the butter for baking but I do salt it if we are going to just use it on toast for example. However....we have grown accustomed to the cultured butter taste so it doesn't really matter for us, but I usually salt anyway in case other people eat our butter!

~use a French Butter Dish to store butter that you are using. This little contraption is absolutely ingenious. Keeps butter fresh and spreadable without needing to be refrigerated because the butter itself is submerged in water preventing spoiling. Very clever, I love this!

~Use your buttermilk to make delicious American Buttermilk Biscuits, yummy.

and if you are really feeling creative, before baking, slice the biscuit open and place a thin slice of cheese in the middle. wow.

maybe this would be good with ham as well? sigh...so hungry...

Now for the best soft cheese I have ever had...

This is so easy.

so, so, so easy and healthy and tastes divine.

Place your jug of fresh milk in the cupboard and leave it for a few days. When it separates, this happens within 3-5 days depending on the weather (it takes longer when it's cooler) pour it through a tea towel. The whey will drain through the towel, the curds will catch in the towel. Gather the towel into bundle, tie with a string and hang over a dish to completely drain - all day or over night.(sorry I don't have pictures of this!). 

When it is dry, you have something like this:

It will taste and smell sour but don't be put off, it is about to taste like heaven.

Now flavour it. Use garlic, salt, chives, herbs, honey, strawberry jam, crushed pineapple, anything.

We use garlic and salt and pepper usually, but today I used crushed garlic and bouillon powder. I know, I know, what's in the  bouillon  powder - nothing healthy - but ah, it tastes so amazing - for today I am ignoring the ingredient list!

I could eat this cheese by the spoon full but today it has been lovely on the buttermilk biscuits. I am thinking that this cheese might mean that baked potatoes are in order for dinner, or maybe just celery sticks ... or pita bread ... or bagels.

so hungry...

time...taking it

My ongoing life lesson as a mother is learning how to take time. Nearly five years into this journey and I still have to remind myself that life flows smoothest when I let go of my obsession with keeping my day 'on schedule'. I feel ridiculous even writing this because really, schedule? What schedule? The only actual commitment I have is a mother's group that is every other week and honestly I hardly ever go. But still, I wake up and push myself and my children through our completely 'no stress' day until we are all grouchy, tired and impatient. Why is this lesson so difficult for me to learn?

When I let go of time I am peaceful. And even though it seems  that I am determined to having to re-learn this time and again, taking time doesn't mean we never eat, bathe, or that my house is never tidy. In fact all of these things happen and surprisingly, I always seem to have time to do extra things, things I never have the energy to do when I am drill sergeant-ing us through the day. 

So I am practising throwing away the clock.

and I am going with the flow, surrendering to this slow speed of motherhood. Taking time to enjoy this journey and all the simple nuances that make family life beautiful and peaceful. 

Wonderful Reading, Sunday Surf

Some of my favourite reads this week, enjoy!

A Better Wife ~ a beautiful post from Lydia at Small Town Simplicity on how simple it is to just love her husband. 

Don't Carpe Diem ~ honest, raw and so many tears ran down my face when I read this. One of my favourites ever for sure.

Green Spring Clean ~  a lavender, ylang ylang, peppermint or orange linen spray. Ginger, lemon grass and orange carpet deodoriser.... this post is full of wonderful recipes for home-made natural cleaning solutions that sound absolutely gorgeous. 

Making the Switch to Reusable Menstrual Products ~ this post is great! FULL of so much information. Switching to reusable products for your moontime is really a joy!

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons ~ this one has been around for a couple of months but I only just saw it and I love it. 

I have been pottering in the kitchen this week. Fermenting ginger carrots (from Nourishing Traditions) with chili and lime and garlic cloves (from wild fermentation) with dried herbs and lemon. Three days is a long time to wait for things to ferment, these treats might not last that long....

And one last link to share. Just when I think I am on a brilliant track of going 'back to basics' I realise just how much I can't imagine living without YouTube! The video that changed my future with garlic!